Ian MacInnes was born in
the waning years of the nineteenth century, during a storm at sea off the coast
of New Guinea. Cast on shore following the shipwreck of his parents' aging
junk, he was found by a family of cassowaries and raised as one of their own
chicks. When he was six, he narrowly escaped being slaughtered and roasted with
the rest of his adoptive family as part of a local tribal celebration. He
wandered through the jungle, subsisting on nothing but dew drops and tree bark
until he was found by a kindly Dutch coffee planter, who chained him in the
fields for seven years of slave labor. During this time he quickly rose to the
position of foreman through a combination of intelligence and a deft trick of
shelling coffee beans with his toes. When the coffee plantation was burned to
the ground by pirates, he followed them to their vessel and joined them on
their journey of pillage and plunder. His course eventually to This will be his
eleventh year of teaching at Albion College.
He is presently at work on a study of Renaissance veterinary medicine and
another on the virtue of telling tall tales.
Ian MacInnes
Albion, MI
April, 2007
E-mail: Iphigenia at Aulis.org